Then I read my three sentences. I explained that I wrote the answers for both of them rather than one person.
1) What do you want to say to the other person?
Lola: I believe each of you are able to work together to fix this situation permanently. That’s not always true, but in your case it is.
2) What do you want to hear from the other person?
Lola: I want you both to commit to these activities:
- Go through Conflict Management class with just me next week and begin to learn the skills you need. You also will be preparing to co-teach the class with me to your employees.
- Schedule two mixed-employee groups to attend the conflict class the following week, maybe one group on Monday and the other on Tuesday. One of you would attend with them in the AM and the other in PM of each class, switching the second week. You’ll be co-teaching with me, adding comments and examples. The person not teaching will be supervising both workgroups.
3) What do you want to happen next?
Lola: “I want to know what and how you are going to tell the manager, your employees, friends and family how things have changed and what they should/could do differently. I’m going to step out now for a few minutes – when you have a plan open the door. I’ll come in and you can tell me the plan.”
I sat down on a chair in the hall and started on my notes about what had happened so far. It took them about ten minutes, and when they opened the door both were laughing. Their solution was that they were going to go get pizza for their teams for lunch, invite both teams at the same time, tell them to mix it up at the tables, and sit down together. Sooner or later someone would ask what had happened, and they would say “Learned a few things. You’ll be learning them week after next.” At the end of the pizza lunch they would announce the work schedules for the next month. It would be clear that as soon as the conflict training was finished, all project teams would be mixed.
At the end of our first session together both AA and BB went to their new manager with their plan. It was approved, and the new manager promised to support them both in any way necessary as they put their plan in place.